As the crank turns… tales of life on the rims

Enzo’s ButtonHole Chamois Cream

I got an early lead on a new product coming to the chamois cream market and it peaked my interest.  Let me shed some light on the subject of chamois cream for those that don't know or who don't use it:

Cycling is an endurance sport.  Unlike other "sports" that can be started or finished in an hour or less with multiple opportunities to catch your breath or regain your composure cycling requires that you plant your soft bits onto an over-glorified and awfully expensive piece of plastic, carbon, steel and leather.  Some might actually pay "professionals" to subject them to that kind of torture but in general cyclists aren't the kind of crowd that need to memorize a safety word before the Tuesday Night World Championships.  When one becomes a little serious with their cycling habit one of the first things they do is go buy some "bibs" or lycra shorts with padding.

Considering this same crew likes to shave their legs, dress in lycra and spend hours on end staring at another man's lycra clad buttocks a foot or so in front of their face - IF they're "lucky" or if they are wheel-"sucking"....I might need to revisit that safe word comment - but I digress.

The hours of pressure and movement, even with good tight fitting shorts with a modern elastic chamois (padding - yes it used to be made out of real chamois....and once upon a time I used to ride a bike without a helmet) can cause certain "things" to happen that should never happen "there".  Being the techno nerdy crew that cyclists tend to be various solutions have been tried and implements with varying degrees of success.  One - usually one of the last addictions a rider tends to pick up - is what we affectionately refer to as chamois cream.

This is a fancy name for taint lube/lotion.  Nice, right?  In the early days it was simply Vasoline.  Some use various lotions or homemade concoctions.  A while back a few cycling specific formulas started becoming popular.  Chamois Butt'r was probably the start of the equipment centric naming trend.  Then Assos (no really that's the name of a great Swiss clothing company....not a reference to their obsession with our butts) and finally DZ Nuts being the heavy hitters.  Most of the dyed in the wool junk yard juice users used to single-handedly (not that hand) agree that Assos was the reining king of the realm.  At some point though the precious Assos formula was changed.  No longer would the masses enjoy that famous tingly heat.

DZ Nuts became the defacto dictator - spreading it's influence across the foundations of the community.  While a great product in and of itself the near $25 price for 4 fl oz of product was enough to make the ever budget conscious racers stand up and take notice.  I mean after all the people need to save their dough for important things....like wheels and power meters.  ;)

Around this time the Chuck Norris of Chicago Cycling (my favorite in that link is the one about filling gaps) spent a great deal of time and resources researching and developing a product destined to fill the void between Asso's change and DZ's price.  The result?  Enzo's ButtonHole Chamois cream.

Keep your ButtonHole happy.

Attractively priced at $19.95 for 8oz (Double that of DZ's) it seemed well placed to move into the market.

Personally I had a long history of NOT using chamois cream.  I found that most high quality bibs with nice chamois would be fine for the type of riding I was doing - without the need for added "lubrication".  I held to this belief until the "one" day.  This was the 2 man TTT Arron Hampton and I did 2 seasons ago or so.  At that time I found that what I recall as a 60k TT was a LONG time to spend on a TT bike with that much pressure put in places it shouldn't be.  Add to that I don't spend much time in a TT position and it becomes apparent that the pressure was being put in areas that never usually see it.  By the end I was "torn up" about the situation and decided I needed to do something about it.

Before my next TT I went out to get some Assos.  The shop was out and only had DZ's.  After using it for the TT I was a convert.  So much so I use chamois cream on every ride now.  When I became aware that Enzo's was about to come out I had to get in line.  It was with eager anticipation that I received my first samples to try.  On first impression it smells delightful.  Kind of a mix between a mint chocolate chip ice cream mixed with a brownie smothered in Girl Scout Thin mint cookies.  Can you tell I haven't had lunch yet?

Application yields the same kind of warm tingly that I have become addicted to, and long term performance in the saddle - where it counts - has thus far been everything I had hoped it would be.  So much so that I have now decided to become a dealer.  The large 8 oz tubs are in stock and ready for shipment.  The pricing is $19.95.  Feel free to inquire with your custom wheel inquiry or simply e-mail psimet at psimet dot com for an invoice.