Hacking it up
JF (left) and Mrs. P (right) look on to watch the Chuck Norris of cycling (Wayne Simon) hand up $2 Fat Tire during the 4B race
Image By Chris
Chuck Norris doing $2 Fat Tire handups. This is cross.
HUGE thanks go out to SCW, Mr. Kelly, and the fine folks at Indian lakes Resort for the 24 hr party someone called a cyclocross race. I can't even begin to tell you how much fun I had. I have basically been dreading doign this write-up because there is just too much to cover and I know no one will read it all the way through. Actually after switching to the new site I can't even tell if anyone is still reading this....if you are - leave a comment! 
This course had everything I like in a cyclocross race. If I had been even remotely on form I would have excelled. Alas as my faithful readers know - I had lost my cross mojo earlier this year. Circus atmosphere for the sake of circus-ness, courses that were little more than a test of your brakes and headsets, epic loses to Bob "the Sponge" Murray (aka "Beverly Bob"), and a split up of one of the coolest crews in cross - those of us who suffered like dogs for top 20 placings in 4b's all last year, all led to me no longer feeling the cross love.
As I had predicted earlier in the year though as the year has rolled on the "not so faithful" have begun to drop off. A lot of people that dipped their toes into the baptismal waters of cyclocross have decided that burning they felt meant they were too good to indulge in the mayhem. Sinewy faces I recognized from the road have slowly disappeared - replaced by the slightly more rounded faces of the winter peloton. Guys who wouldn't touch a salad with "full ranch" on it 2 months ago are enjoying an all you can eat cheesecake buffet and handing up bacon, cupcakes, beer and twinkies.
As I mentioned the course was perfect. A ton of wide open hammering. I used every gear I had, and some of them twice. I found a wide sweeper on the backside that let me hammer in the big ring the whole way around and still held perfect traction. It was a big guys paradise....but the skinny guys still won - imagine that. My race was Sooooo uneventful. I hadn't been ont he bike in literally 2 weeks - outside of a powertest at MJH2's the previous Saturday. Mrs. P and I had a date night the night before. Needless to sayI was hung over severely in the morning. I was in a hurry so I got nothing to eat or drink before the race. Ugh. I poured in a poor performance but really got geared up by cross again.
After my race I got a chance to watch Debbie Dust (recent PSIMET wheels "rider") hang a "W" in the women's race - the first cross victory for PSIMET wheels! Congrats Debbie!
- Win for Debbie Dust!
Photo: John Wrycza
After attacking the buffet we settled in to watch the 1/2/3 action. Holy crap - great race. SRAM Scott has been tearing up everything - this day was no different. What was exciting was to see Ben Popper and Brian Conant give pursuit. As a Brian Conant "superfan" (I will for now on consider Conant the Bruce Lee to Simon's Chuck Norris) I felt it my duty to scream "I LOVE YOU BRIAN CONANT!" every time he went past. I got a few half grins . What made it better was the fact that this was Brian's 3rd race of the day (that I saw) and he had won the previous 2. I believe this was Scott and Ben's only race of the day. Best moment of the day was when Ben and brian came charging into the first sand pit side-by-side both catching some high air as they bunny hopped into it. Classic.
From there it was time to make the funny. It was a blast. I take the whole "don't modify the course" thing to heart so we didn't.....we just kind of leaned on the tape. Result - bacon alley. It was right at the perfect spot where just about everyone was running. The beer, cupcakes, bacon, twinkies, etc....were all flowing. It was so loud I had a headache before I had even left the event. My voice has only now begun to recover.
Me screaming at Lenski to get his butt moving....pretty much sums up the day - Photo: Liz Farina Markel
So.....next week. Cross is coming to a close so I just want to have some fun. I have already been running and doing a tiny bit of core work. Maybe I won't totally suck this week. One of these days someone will convince me to race the 4b's......hmmm......
Bartlett Cross Race 2009
It was like mortar. Not the tube like things you fire exploding shells from but the stuff you use to hold blocks together with in order to create a building. The grass and mud lattice that we mixed together was working perfectly at filling every single open space and hardening in place. Unfortunately...we didn't want it to.
In an attempt to re-find my cyclocross mojo (and to rent some wheels) I got to the Bartlett race early and set up camp. The early morning rain had souped the oversaturated ground. It made even my recreationally paced pedal strokes painful and slippery even as I was just hauling materials from my car to the course.
It wasn't even time to race and all I wanted to do was crawl back into my bed to warm up and dry out. Ahh....cross weather.
After setting up I jumped on to take a few practice laps. Beveryly Bob and MJH2 were there as well. The first lap was filled with a lot of comments along the lines of, "this corner will suck" and "OOOooo can you imagine what this will be like by this afternoon?" I only felt like lowering the pressure in my tires further and when I got back I saw that I was already well below where I would rationally consider running.
I was racing 30+ and 4A's this time. My first cross double and the first time I was venturing out of the 4's for a race. I'll admit it was weird lining up with some of the elite guys I have ridden with on group rides but never against in a race. When faced with utter anniliation...make jokes.
It was a good crew. Felt good. Shea Butter, Wrong Way Nick, Alien, Beverly Bob, MJH2, JAnd, etc. were all there. Time for a good old race OTB. I figured all was well as long as I beat Bob.
It was a year ago at this very race where I first learned of Bob's existance. He and I battled each other down to the final sprint - where I believe I beat him. From that point on in just about every race it has become my mantra - "must beat Bob."
Bob has beat me a lot. I think I have beat him a lot too, but while we don't keep score we know what the goal for the day is for sure. Even better - I got some of my cross demo wheels under Bob.
So, I got a good start. I was right behind Matt. I was racing in that sweet spot right behind a teammate for most of the first lap. Shea Butter slipped in between us and finished out the lap riding alongside Matt.
The hill was a mess. We all knew we were running it. We had only seen 1 person ride it well all morning and that was Wayne "Cycling's Chuck Norris" Simon. When I brought that up to Matt he replied, "so....no mortals have ridden it yet."
Running up the hill I was damn glad I had toe spikes on....until I started to realize that all I was doing with them was picking up toe mortar and packing my pedals with it.
Somewhere along the line I was doing kind of OK and then I looked down. I must have done so because I was starting to fade. The clock said 27 minutes. Perfect for a 1/2 hr race...not the case in 30+. We were on for 45 minutes. That's when I did some Rob math and realized I was basically a little over 1/2 way done. Suck.
From there I slowly fell apart. I tried to give everyone a line to get by me. Super Wayne passed me with 1 lap left so I wasn't doing too aweful bad. I thankfully got lapped by our leader near the end of my 4th lap I believe. Right around the same time Bob....passed me.
If I had realized it was our last lap I would have sprinted or something, but no doubt Bob would have reacted and matched my move. He wanted to beat me as much as I wanted to beat him. He deserved the victory and I sure didn't. Next time Bob....next time...
After that it dawned on me that I had to wait around for hours until the 4A's. Nothing much happened. Hung out. JAnd picked up a sammich for me while I was out there (thanks!). Supergirl got on my wheels for the 4A's. Ed White got a picture of him on them. Good stuff.
I put in a great start on the 4A's. Made it about 1/4 of a lap and started to really feel the effort from the morning. I started to fade fast. I was giving up spots like you wouldn't believe and I felt like crap.
The problem with a good start is that you get to watch a lot of people pass you when you crack.
I pulled to the side and let most everyone by me. I was done. I was going to cut the course but I saw the hill. The course had dried up so much from the morning that everything was sticking beautifully and I knew I could ride the hill. So I went and rode it.....and then pulled off at the start-finish.
OK...so it had to happen. I have not been training. I didn't ride or exercise at all since the race the previous Sunday. I haven't had my mojo. I figured I needed to hit bottom and at the same time re-kindle some love for the sport. I kind of hit bottom, and I have some love back but I am still missing a lot of it. Most of you know why.
So I will attempt to train a little this week. I fear that if I actually train again and stop doing things like eating a half dozen donuts on the way to a meeting and eating McDonald's and pizza and drinking beer at every opportunity....I could in fact be dangerous....
....or I could be a slightly fitter piece of pack fodder. Yay, pack fodder.
Quote of the day goes to Marc Moeller who upon hearing Matt say something like, "I'm not really going to be racing I figure I will give it about 10 minutes of effort-" he replied, "F*&# THAT S*&#!"
I think I'm just doing the 30+ for now on. I have no points in the 4As so what's the point? I have more fun the the 30+....and I don't almost die in the melee the 4A's has become.
Also - the courses are too long. Period. It might help the scoring but it makes it more like an agressive group ride you've done once before. You have an idea what is coming up, but you still haven't figured out all the lines or places you can move up, etc. If this keeps up we're going to have to start putting up "you are here" signs on the course so you can figure out where the hell you are. We're also going to have to start providing SAG support and put in a rest stop.
...maybe public transportation for the spectators to take them around the course....
Quick Wrap-up
Too much to cover and a lot of work to do today.
We finally got our chance for cake during the last crit of Fall Fling. In the end, when you're a cat 4, cake is all that matters.
We went into the last crit with a formidable team. The fact that it was the last crit of the season and that we had a rider going for overall (Timmyquest) meant we could have some fun.
MJH2, RR, Myself, and Eric were to have all the fun we could. MJH and myself were to attack early and hard just for poops and giggles. If anyone burned some calories following us then so be it. If there were any primes it was MJH that was going to be the man.
Then RR, MJH and Myself were to block, cover moves, etc. as necessary in support.
Raviv and Justin were to protect Timmyquest. Raviv marked Whiple...and marked him hard. Justin rode for TQ - always within arms length.
Simply the races had been too slow in this series so far. Leading to too many people in the final sprint who didn't belong (myself included). We wanted to ratchet it up and shed some of the less fit in hopes of delivering TQ to the final sprint with hopefully a smaller crowd.
Eric was our hidden card. The guy has a engine. Typical "Try"-athlete in that he can sit alone off the front and just power all day long. It's hard as hell to hold his wheel. We talked before the race and deided to use him twice - First time about 15 minutes in. He would hit it hard and fast with the intent of coming back to the pack to recover then to launch again in another 10 mintues.
Well early on it was nice. I was 3rd or 4th wheel for the first lap or two. We had been going kind of hard and I could see people struggling. I was second wheel when the guy pulling pulled off shattered and everyone was hurting. I decided it was time for me to give it a go....so I did. I went coming out of the crosswind section when people were still getting a feel for the tailwind and the gearing to use. I nailed it and got a substantial gap. I looked down and was going something like 33-35 up into the traffic circle on the back side.
I just don't have the engine and everyone knows that but it was fun and it did keep the higher pace on in the pack. I didn't make it a lap.....meh
Next MJH nailed it when I got back. Great move and kept the pace up as people wanted to relax. Then there were a few other attacks. There had just been a big one that was coming back and everyone was hurting and still inthe headwind. I looked for Eric to go, but he held on. It was only 10 minutes in.
At the pre-decided time Eric went. Man he went. He ended up out there and looking good. Someon joined him then myself and RR and MJH took turns going to the front and either disrupting the pace or blocking. Nothing overt, hell I even told one guy flat out when he looked for me to pull through - "I gotta guy in the break. I'm not going to work."
He stayed away for a long time. A few riders bridged up to him, but as they kind of gave up the ghost in the break and started coming back Eric hit the gas again...attacking the break. Fabulous.
Keep your eye on Eric folks. He's a tremendous talent.
Well not too long after that they announced the cake prime. That had us written all over it. As we rolled around to the line I looked up to see Eric and those away coming back into the fold. We actually had a chance to sprint for the prime. As I was thinking that a guy behind me said, "someone has to sprint for this thing."
Like a douche I went. He jumped on my wheel and came around me easily. I didn't get the cake, and MJH says I ended up boxing him in - not my intent.
BTW - ABD - cake - great touch! I propose that there always be a cake prime in Cat 4 races. Let it be known that cat 4 is the cake cat.
Everything else worked out. Raviv had marked Whiple HARD. You'd have to ask him if it made a difference but I think it did. Raviv said Whiple ended up in the wind a ton because of it.
We served Tim up to the sprint and he took it over Whiple at the line winning the series and the final race. All were in agreement it was the most fun crit we have ever raced. It was definitely the best example we had of deploying team tactics.
i was off and in the car to dekalb. I changed and refueled along the way. When we pulled in I jumped out of the car and grabbed the bike offthe back. I rolled up and into the grid just in time for a good position. Perfect timing.
The start was great. I love physical racing. I got a decent one considering. Muscled a few guys out of the way and ran over at least one guy on the ground (his bike...not him). From there my legs just kind of looked at me with a big "FU" look. I was feeling the crit.
I slowly lost every position I gained on the start. Pretty soon I was racing alone. That course was long. Too long if you ask me. I did poorly but to be honest I just don't feel like 30 minutes is a long enough race anymore. My engine just doesn't get going until about 20 minutes in. If I had another 10 minutes I might have picked up 1 or 2 riders but I would probably also had been lapped....
Totally poor performance from me, but about what was to be expected with all the racing I had done in the previous 2 days.
So....now it's cross all the time. I saw Slim_77 and Beverly Bob in the 4b's. Bob is sandbagging it for sure. He should be in the a's - suffering at the back with me. Slim_77 - if he gets addicted, should also be in the a's just simply due to his stellar fitness.
Supergirl made and appearance as well. The wrist is still not 100% and 'she' claims she can't race yet.....but I believe there was a sighting on the course during the 4b's. I could be mistaken though 
. Too bad part of being a superhero includes a secret identity.
I high-tailed it out of there and got back...ate some pizza and had 2 beers and passed out. Waking up in time to go to work this morning.
Tonight - wheels, running, weights. Tomorrow...cross ride.
Peak
Haven't blogged a lot lately. Very busy. Business is going well. Selling a ton of wheels.
On top of that we are in the start of the peak of the Chicago road season. This weekend begins the annual tradition known as Superweek. I like to call it Stupidweaks. Mainly because if you race it you're stupid. You will also end up weak, and the event is a series of races over close to 3 weeks.
If you are not familiar with it then consider youself lucky. I don't remember the whole history but basically it they had a week of races in Wisconsin that drew a lot of people from all over. Over the years it has gotten bigger, more dangerous, and expanded into the flatlands of Illinois.
On tap I am racing 8 races in 5 days starting on Saturday. I will be stupid weak at the end. I will follow that up with maybe another weekend race and possibly another day the following week and then maybe soldiers field and then two races at the Chicago crit. Then you get into downers, grays lake, Oakbrook, etc.
It is burnout time at the end of this. It happens to me anyway at the end of July. I am already talking about cross season.
For those who haven't heard there was a big wreck last Sunday in the 4's and a lot of guys I am friends with were taken out. RJB, SP from Verdigris, our own SK who won the 5's that morning and upgraded, and Lenski to name a few. By far the biggest loss was South Chicago Wheelmen's own MK. You might remember him better as last cross season's "Supergirl".
MK broke his frame (Colnago ouch!) and his wrist. He says that among a list of other things his season is over. He has been racing very well and personally I will miss racing alongside of him in the short term. He says he may even miss a bit of the cross season.
I think all the talk of that is what made MJH2 and I start talking ideas a out next cross season. I have decided I think that I might be going in-costrumeo. Thinking cheerleading uniform. What are your ideas? I'll take suggestions in the comments.
2009 Muskego Park Crit
OK....Being mothers day weekend it meant, of course, that Mrs. P had to work. That means it was me and little P for the whole weekend. Fatherhood bliss.
Then Joel pointed out that there was a crit in Wisconsin on Saturday. That started with, "no I am spending time with little P.", moved to "he and I can go up there with you guys and cheer you on", to "OK so if someone watches little P I can race the first race but that means we'll have to leave at 5:30am."
Yeah. Father of the year....right here.
Matt, Riccio and I rolled out of my house at 5:40ish with little P along for comic relief. The trip was long and we just barely made it there in time to register, gear up and put in two laps for "warmup". The course had what those cheeseheads call "hills". There was about 100 ft of climbing per lap. The grades weren't steep but they got to you after a while.
It was raining and FREEZING. I came up there with shorts and mostly summer gear. I had thin socks and no toe covers. No long finger glooves, etc. It sucked. I was freezing and soaking wett within a few minutes.
In general the race was really slow but grinding. There was only really one corner and it could have been taken at speed but there was standing water in the middle of it. Everyone took it slow and then accelerated out of the corner then into the hill. It got old quick.
I feel like I have chest congestion - let's face it Mrs. P has been exposed to all sorts of stuff including swine flu (I am sure) at work. I am feeling the effects of something. The cold and wet conditions didn't help. I ended up coming unhooked on the last lap. I struggled back up and finished on the back of the pack for 20th place out of 25. Boo, but I'll take it. I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to race until I pinned my number on.
Can't see it too well in that pic, but we and the bikes were just coated with sand and crap.
After that Matt raced the 3/4 masters. I Opted out of this one. I was beat and really not feeling it. That and I didn't want to wait around in soaking wet clothes for an hour between races.
Matt looked like he was done about half way through the race but ended up finding something inside to keep going. He said the race was much smoother and faster than the first one. He did great and tied for 17th.
After that Joel showed up. The last race of the day was the one that Riccio, Joel and Matt were doing. We went out in full spandex wonder to a local hole int he wall diner for lunch. Matt talked Joel into trying the Chedderwurst - Ugh.
Back in time for these guys to warm up and get ready to race. Joel held his own. There were a couple of early attacks and just like a dog looking to run outside through a screen door he went after them. He got into one only 16 minutes into the race. It was a 45 minute hilly crit. Too early.
They got caught a couple of laps later. I started yelling at him every lap. Nothing very helpful but stuff like, "great position", "too early", "3 laps left - follow your gut", etc...
He ended up sprinting in the end and his position wasn't great but he had an open line to the finish. He was hurting. He has a dead elvis face. Saw it this race for the first time really. I started yelling and he came up with some more kick. He ended up in 2nd place. Nice.
....time for an upgrade. 
Before the race.
Joel's dead elvis.
Little P having a blast. "I wanna watch the bike race!!!"
Madison – take 2
The radar looked like it might hold off the rain in Madison long enough for us to race so MJH2 and I decided to hit the road.
We took our time - neither of us particularly psyched to race again after 2 races the day before. As soon as I got out of the car I was smacked on the face with some frigid wind - all too familiar to our cheese-making beer-filled neighbors to the North.
At registration MJH2 and I stalled picking our plan for the day. 1 race? 2? Which one? Then MJH2 decided that for the small amount of $$ it was worth registereing for both. I just thought to myself - "SUCK!"
The crowd wasn't as big as it was the day before. Only us diehard fools with chain lube for blood were able to brave the cold and the inevitable rain to knock wheels and bang bars in yet another industrial park in the midwest.
The kit resembled something I would have expected to wear during the height of cyclocross. Vest, warmers, toe covers, etc... blech. Just yesterday it was shorts, sleeveless base and jersey with no hat. Hell I still had sunscreen in the car.
First race was the cat 4. Some guys from the day before were back. I swear there were some fresh guys too. We started way slow. It was nice. I found myself where I normally am - floating right around 5-8th wheel. One of the laps I found myself second wheel going into the hill where the guy on the front decided he wanted to attack. There was no jump he just accelerated so I went with it not realizing this guy was trying to attack. He got to the top of the hill and popped - going right back into me. Rubbed tires a bit but then he was gone...and I was up front.
I rode it. I thought I was taking it easy but MJH2 told me I was riding tempo. OOoops. Rode about 1.5 laps on the front. Suck. I did too much work. When someone finally took over I found myself dangling. I hadn't warmed up before the race and I just wasn't firing right. Took a couple more laps and then went off the back. DNF. Suck
So...I knew I would race the second race better. I went in semi-warm. MJH2 took a flyer and it looked good enough that I was about to go to the front to block when their group started to come backwards. MJH2 sat up and was throwing it in. I yelled at him to stay in because I knew the group wasn't going to do crap after they caught him, but he was having none of it.
After that I just rode the race. You get in a groove. Just kind of ebb and flow with the group. The lines and corncers become mechanical and you start looking around at who is doing what. Three guys from a team with "Port-A-John" on their bib butts were on the front trying to get their man another win. I made a joke about the race going into the toilet. No one laughed. No one got it. I had to explain it to one guy. Before that he thought I was complaining about the low speed. So the group was tired.
I kept hanging in there every lap. Was kind of on the edge of popping a lot, but never did. I just held it. I knew when and where the surges were going to come in the last few laps and they did. I covered them. I figured I was cooked for the inevitable sprint, but figured I would line up and give it what I had from the back.
Coming into the final straight I had enough speed to launch me. I figured what the heck....so I hit it. I went too late and didn't really have enough road to wind out my sprint but I picked up about 10-15 spots - finishing in 5th place out of the 26 that started - 25 finished (MJH2 was the only one who didn't).
It wasn't until later that MJH2 pointed out to me that I probably got an upgrade point. I did the math when I got home and he was right...I should get an upgrade point. Too bad I don't feel like ever upgrading again.
Good trip - good series. I'll report on the first day later. Next time I wish they'd actually CLOSE the roads instead of just implying that they were closed but still letting a TON of cars on to the course...including one coming into the Masters 1/2/3 field in the final corner of their race....Ooops.
BH Ride Report
Great ride. Lots of people showed up. We had close to 30 or so. I thought it would be bigger, but a lot of the guys who usually meet up with us out by the golf course weren't there.
As we were climbing in one section early and heard the unmistakable sound of cleats hitting the pavement. I yelled "RIDER DOWN!" The group sat up for a second....then laid into it.
It was Ara. He got boxed in or something and hit the deck. I floated back to see who it was and saw him rocketing back up to the group. many of the team members floated back to help but he didn't need it. In the end it just left a bunchof guys off the back at a bad time for them. Ara even told them "don't wait for me (save yourselves)."
Speed wise is was slow to wind up. I was planning on leading all of the 4/5's that wanted to ride slower by taking all of the short cuts. I was 1/2 way through the first turn where I was supposed to go straight for the shortcut and missed it. That's when it started to get a little faster.
I was hanging pretty good, but found myself in the wind swinging around in a weird middle section trying to hold on. I held for a while but then my mind just said, "save it" so I sat up and coasted back.
That was when the group hit McDonald Rd and they were GONE. We ended up with a group of stragglers. Alien3 from the penny rd ride was with us. He told me CyLoew had gotten a flat and was out a long ways back (oops....). He said he felt bad for not stopping, but we all know what kind of ride it was. I still felt bad I didn't stop even though I didn't even know until many miles later.
Colorchange, RR, myself, alien3, and some tri guys made up this group. I was feeling good and was looking to take some hard pulls. We started kind of rotating well. I was pulling at 400-500 watts when on the front. We were hauling butt around 30mph all the way down McDonald. We took a shortcut and ended up in front of the main group for a majority of the ride.
Some of the tri guys weren't pulling through and when they did they weren't really pouring it on. That ended up with myself and RR and Colorchange doing a ton of pulls. We ended up really tired by the time we got back into the wind. We started a constant rotating 2 line paceline. Even that died after a few miles.
The group caught us and we motored on in the big pack. Nice. Hit Townhall in the group. It was like a gun went off. Those guys attacked it like date on prom night.
The rest of the ride found alien3 and myself limping back. We made it back into the group when we got back into town. Nice ride. Fast, but it has been faster. Fun. 40+ miles. Even with the soft pedaling in town I averaged over 20mph for the whole ride. Haven't looked at the power data but I am sure it is brutal.
CyLowe and MJH2 came rolling in together. Nice move by MJH2. He's always been good like that.
Now...trail ride with little P this morning. Hit the shop in the afternoon...racing in Madison tomorrow and hopefully Sunday as well. Here's to a good and safe weekend for everyone!
....oh yeah....and check out my site. Click on some of the advertisers links if they interest you...hopefully you know why. Custom wheel build quotes, etc.
More Hillsboro
Finding more Hillsboro stuff.
I'm on the right edge of this video. MJH2 is 435 looking off to see JF (red glasses) on the side of the road...
Cat 4 rollout. See how good of a start I get?
Hillsboro Report
Hillsboro-Roubaix was a much bigger race than even I expected. I should have known when the fields for Cat 4 and Cat 5 filled within a few minutes of registration opening.
With the recent job situation being what it is I had done some bike work on MJH2's bike after the wreck leading JF out during Kenosha to help cover the room cost for the Hillsboro trip. I drove starship Psimet down there with MJH2 on board.
My mother grew up in a little town near Hillsboro (Piasa) so I am fairly familiar with the area (MJH2 and I pulled the Model A out of a barn near there in Jan.). We got down there early enough to register on Friday and pre-ride the course. First impression....holy crap these roads are narrow. Centerline rule??!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
We got to pre-ride the course with Marc Moeller (cat 2) of Northbranch and Rob Kelley (cat 1) on our team. They spent a lot of time pointing out some of the courses highlights. The pre-ride was extremely valuable, but in the end I think that I spent too much energy doing it.
In general they ran the registration of the race beautifully. It took all of about 5 seconds to register and get my number. We went into town after we registered and had a wonderful meal at a converted church. JF made it into town and met up with us. I told myself I was sticking to water, but with the festive atmosphere and some nice looking Hacker Pschorr I quickly found myself indulging.
It was a total bike racing trip - 3 of us crashing in the room. It was MJH2's room and JF wasn't about to sleep on the floor so he and I ended up sharing a bed. I slept OK so he must be pretty good at spooning.
When I woke up I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Almost like I had a hangover even though I hardly drank anything. I think it was just dehydration. That's bad before a bike race.
We headed over to a Denny's for breakfast - pancakes and a couple of eggs before heading over to the start. There were so many cyclists milling around the local hotels and haunts. Everyone was sizing everyone else up. It quickly became apparant that the riders here meant business....and that we were the fatest ones in town.
Once at the start we got pinned up, geared up and started milling around. We pre-rode the hills a couple of times to get the blood flowing. The air was thick with the scent of chamois cream, nerves and a hint of nuts - most likely due to the immense amount of shelling that was about to occur.
The staging was a nightmare....for everyone else but us. They lined everyone up together in the street. That meant we stuck our noses up on the end of the P/1/2 field which was going off first so that we would be in front when the 4;s were eventually called up. It woked beautifully and we ended up where we usually are - up front in the middle.
I had that sick tension in me just before the start. At that moment I wanted to do anything else other than race a bike - especially if it meant I was going to be able to go pee.....I ha to go sooooooo bad. Before we knew it "ridersreadyGO!" and we were off.
I was able to get into my pedals and was in the first 5-6 guys on the front. The field for the 4's was 100 deep. Seriously. These roads were narrower than some of the freshman men only dorm rooms we had at Purdue and there was a centerline rule. It was definitely an example of 10 pounds of poop in a 5 pound bag.
There was idle chit chat and some touching and bumping as we went - to be expected. I was able to work my position fairly well and stayed up in the first 10 guys for the majority of the first lap (22 miles). There were some highlights - like one of the local guys from the Christian based club/team who went on a hate filled tirade that if I recall correctly included some choice 4 letter words. He was hopping mad that someone passd him on the right...when the there was definitely room to do so. Really I think he was just PO'd because he was popping and starting to get shelled.He didn't stick around long enough for us to find out for sure.
The wind became a factor in the last few miles of the first lap. I found myself on the wind side of the crosswind and really worked hard to maintain position. I just couldn't get into anyone's draft and out of the wind. The whole time I was just hemoraging energy.
As we turned into the wind to go into town and hit the first of the three successive climbs I decided I needed to conserve energy and spin up it in the small ring. Whoa...wrong choice. It was like I hit reverse. Everyone else pounded it on that hill and I found I over-reved like a poorly driven import race car and popped my motor. I sat up and knew my day was done instantly. It sucked.
As I was sliding back through the pack I started to get an idea for how far up I had truly been and how big the field really was. It was disgustingly huge. As I viewed the back of the pack and the carnage that was spent racers flying off the back with me I experienced a strange moment of "WTF"...I had to get back on.
So on the next downhill I latched on to the back of another rider off the back and drew myself back into the field(see the video of me doing just that in the previous post). Once there we hit the feed zone hill which made me limit out again and then we hit the big climb in town. I had nothing. As I climbed on in shame I saw a supporter along the side of the road with a Beverly Bike jersey on and yelled, "Hey! Don't tell Bob from Beverly that I popped like this!"
It was there that I started pondering cutting the race short and only doing 1 lap. Then I remembered that I didn't have a vagina. I drove down there and had the whole day...I was finishing the course.
Soon after the start/finish line and the start of the second lap I ended up with a group of guys that got shelled as well. It was like the island of misfit toys. The group was filled with big guys and I felt like we were all members of some weight loss challenge gone horribly wrong.
Don't know how many of you have raced with xXx riders, but if you've done much of it you know what they can be like. There was one in the mix and he decided that it was his duty to become self appointed ride leader and educator. I'm surprised the sound of my eyes rolling didn't drown out his instructions to the other riders in the group about how to ride in a paceline with a cross wind.
Of particular annoyance was the group's tendancy to want to ride slowly until I would end up going to the front and picking up the pace - then they would punch it as I pulled off. Total rookie moves and totally annoying. I also felt at times like I was the only one who remembered it was still a race - not a Sunday ride.
As we came rolling into town for our second time I looked up and saw MJH2 languishing in front of us in no-man's land just suffering in the wind. I watched him kill himself for a long time as we slowly pulled him in. I couldn't bear to see it anymore and went to the front to bridge up to him. I got a snyde "you don't chase your teammate" comment from the peanut gallery but could only think of 2 things - 1 - we were racing for what had to be 60-something place...so who cares, and 2 - MJH2 was much better company than the guys in that group for sure.
Sure enough as I got to him we started talking and the others decided to attack. All I could do was laugh inside. Up the final climb we saw a rider at the side of the hill stopped no doubt because of cramping. MJH2 made a quick "I feel your pain buddy" kind of joke and then locked up solid. Seriously. I have never seen anyone lock out their legs with cramps like that before. I continued...though about stopping but didn't....realized I was going to beat MJH2 - which is always something that makes the little psimet voice inside me happy. Then I felt bad for feeling happy so I felt the need to try to motivate him as I rode away. I yelled something about being able to smell his female body parts. He didn't find it amusing.
Then I bombed the brick section to roll across the line in a 1-man sprint for 66th place. The suck was strong with me that day.
After that I changed, ate and awated the arrival of the rest of our teammates. Turns out JF placed 2nd in the cat 5 race in a breakaway they stuck from 5 miles in. That boy is going places I tell you. He was in the feed zone passing bottles to our 1/2 racers who were putting in 88 miles of hatred.
The organizers kept calling for JF over the PA when I realized they wanted to do a podium shot. I tried to call JF and wasn't able to get him so I started making my way over to the podium to tell the presenters where JF was. As I approached they were putting some guy who was standing near there in JF's spot as a stand in. I ran up saying JF was in the feedzone and wouldn't be able to make it. They asked if I was on his team. I said yes....so they asked me to stand in.
So.....I was on the podium. 2nd place. Cat 5. Probably the only podium shot I will ever get. It was fun. Thanks JF.
Our 1/2 guys did well. Kelley came in 20-something with the pack. JD soon after. Ara came in a little after that. He talked to us a bit and then went to sit in his car. I heard Brian Conant ask Ara if he was OK. I went over to ask him the same and he brushed me off saying he'd be alright in a minute.
We left and hit the road. Called Ara to see if he wanted to join us for dinner on the road and found out that Conant had to call the ambulance on Ara because of his level of dehydration. He ended up coming through with observation and ended up OK but he really pushed his luck on that one. The day was deceivingly set up for hydration problems.
A big thanks goes out to Brian Conant for his keen eye and quick reaction to Ara's condition. Thanks my man! And I get the half-wheeler award of shame for leaving without finding out if Ara was truly OK.
So....long story short. I'm still fat and slow although skinnier and much faster than last year. I have also realized that I will always be too fat for this sport.
Catching up on Kenosha
I will report on my Burnham results soon. Basically 2 pack finishes and plenty of gas left over. I was amazed with my form and now I have some more confidence to go with it.
I am trying to catch up on a backlog of reporting though. So....first things first...2 weeks ago at Kenosha. I was hoping to race this race, but I was laid off the Thursday before and spending $ on racing seemed somehow less important. MJH2 and JF were going up there though and I love being a superfan so I thought I would tag along and help out.
Turns out it was a lot of fun just going and prepping bikes, bottles, etc. grabbing jackets, yelling to the field time splits, etc.
The big news was the win though. That's right....win. Turns out JF was racing 5's. ABR was running both 4's and 5's together but decided to score them separately. Whatever...
This was JF's first race so I was starting to give him the whole "you're going to pop - don't let it discourage you" speach when it dawned on me that he's probably one of the most natural cyclists I have ever ridden with at this level. He's constantly exceeding my expectations so I decided I would just tell him to stay close to the front if he could, but stay out of the wind. Don't chase any breaks just go for the sprint. (did I mention he melted my trainer doing a quick sprint on my powertap. He took it easy and I stopped him when I smelled it burning, but the PT said something just shy of 1500W). Oh....and try not to hit the deck.
So I sat back and watched and took pictures. Fun.
MJH2 lined up in the 4's
JF in the red arm warmers hanging in the cat 5 starting group
"You guys are 4/5's so that means you suck. Try not to kill each other -kthx" (MJH2 is thinking "I paid for this?")"Rider'sReadyGO!!"
JF - Whatta ya doin on the FRONT!!!????
Our man J-Dub taking snappy snaps again. Check out his site and buy some pics to help support him. I would if I had an income right now...
So there was a break of 3 guys who got away and had quite a bit of time on the pack. I knew they were gone and the pack would come down to the sprint. I saw MJH2 lead JF off the front going into turn 1 of the last lap. They were hauling and I knew this was going to be good....then I saw JF come up the final straight way the freak in front of everyone.
HUGE gap. so big he just soft pedaled over the line. See for yourself.
So where was MJH2??? Well....I end up walking down the front straight to find him...
Turns out he had led out JF so hard and fast that when they came around the last corner they encountered some lapped traffic on the race line. It was hit the lapped traffic, JF or go into the grass. He chose the grass. He took one for the team and will most likely never let JF forget it. One thing is for sure...if we could ever get coordinated enough we could have a hell of a leadout. With even just the 3 of us we could rip up 1.5-2 laps of just about any race.
Although JF came in 4th overall the first 3 guys were Cat 4's so JF actually won the Cat 5's race that day. It won't be his last. In fact he's gotten medals in 3 of his first 4 races so far. There's a word for that. Awesome.
