Category Archives: Self loathing

Yup

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Nervous chatter.  Sugar and caffeine fueled questions. Gear discussions.  ”What pressure should I run?”  ”Where are we going?”

WHIRRRRRRWHIRRRRRRWHIRRRRRWHIRRRRWHIRRR

“LEFT” – “BRANCH!”

“OK.  We’ll start here.  Take this section like this.  Hop off here.  Barriers there.  We’ll start with 2 warmup laps then we’ll go race pace for 40 minutes.  Questions?

Riders ready….GO!”

The pain is almost instantaneous.  Suddenly you’re going faster than you ever thought possible over grass.  The initial push starts to wear off as your heart starts to come up to speed.  Pain as you blood vessels start dilating to cope with the back pressure.  This is where normal – regular people stop.  We just started.

“HAHA – Rob you suck!”

Can’t breathe.  The terrain is blurring.  God I hope I remember my lines.  Hmmm…never been through that turn like that before.  Here come the barriers.  This is going to hurt.

“HUPHUPHUPHUP”

I can get him.  I swear I can get him.  HAHA  He stopped to remount there.  Hup!  Back on – get the pedals….NO….come on…..YES! GOGOGOGOGOGO..  Yes!  Got him.

Lap 1 down….9 more to go.

Cyclocross season is here.  I am a proud sponsor of the series this year as well.  The opener is tomorrow.  I have spent the last couple of weeks in the basement sniffing tubular glue.  I am out of shape but not as bad as last year I don’t think.  Unlike last year though I have no secret goals to do well.  I am going to be driven to compete.  Sad shape and all.  I want to attack every race I can and go as hard as I can.  My goal – along the same lines as J from Tati and Ben Popper – I am on my single point quest this year.  I will earn 1 point in 4A’s.

It’s sad and pathetic but I think this year it’s going to be harder than it would have ever been before.  I saw the fields increase get much more difficult last year and I think this year is on track to do the same.

I will ride the 30+ as well.  Mainly as a chance to get some more time in early in the season.  My goal there?  Make it 1 lap before Wayne Simon passes me from the 50 plus group starting behind us.  Again…this too will be a near impossible goal, but I will do it….maybe.  :)

Those who have listened to my drivel about those who can succeed in this sport know that I believe there are two types of riders who excel:  Type A and B.  A= Aggressive, cocky, looking for a fight – turn the pedals in anger and B=Zen.  I seem to do well when I can turn my pedals in anger.

Get your heckle on and come jeer me.  Tell me I can’t do it.  Tell me I am fat and slow.  Tell me that I am an embarrassment to my company, my team, and may family.

Just have a beer waiting for me when I get done.

Here’s to suffering.  It’s on.  See you tomorrow.

My Superweek Wrap-up

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I suck.

Cat – 4/5

7/11 – Blue Island – 36/41 placing
7/12 – Elgin – 38/63 placing
7/14 – Arlington Heights – 31/37 placing
7/15 – Bensenville – 28/32placing

Cat – Masters 4/5

Didn’t finish a single race.

Again…I suck. Granted the fields were much larger than what they show as placing but that is little solace. Every day was the same. Race hard…try to hold on…pop…start up a chase group….pull chase group around….then let the guys in the chase group come around me at the end dropping me futher.

To top it off the scale has been climbing for a little over a month. I believe it’s muscles but there is definitely some fat in there as well. Scale read 180 this morning for the first time in a long time. I’m wearing 32″ waist pants still with no problem so…maybe it is muscle.

I suck.

Time to step up my game. Cyclocross is coming…

Superweek Sucks

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Where’re you parked? Hold on I have a txt coming in…

Where’s registration? Do I need my license again? Are you warming up on the trainer or riding around? Have you ridden the course? What’s it like? Are they running late? How late? Seriously…Yes I just asked that.

Dude, what happened yesterday??! How’s Bob? Who else is coming? You got bottles? Yeah you can borrow my pump. Espresso Love…awesome.

This turn will suck. That one will too. Someone will attack here thinking they can get away. Dude….look at this corner! It’s all you. So what’s the plan? Hey man! You racing both? Yeah, I know…I’m an idiot. Yesterday? I sucked. You? Nice job! They lining up?

Hey, rider A is here. Look – rider B. Hey they’re is only ___ riders from xXx here. *start humming the evil empire music from star wars* How many newbs are here? Awesome. I had no idea Discovery, Phonack, Garmin and CSC were sending riders here for the 4/5 race today.

-official- You are racing __ laps. The wheel pit is over there. Make sure you talk to an official while in the wheelpit in order to get a free lap. Free laps end with 5 to go. Are there any juniors here? Raise your hands. You must report to rollout after the race. blahblahahahahahahahahahahhahahablahablbbbbbbbllllllaaaaahhhhhh *snore******

-Wisecrack #1- -laughter from the field- -Wisecrack #2- -not as much laughter-

Ridersready*whistle*

*pain, tightness, suffering*

Anticipating that first corner. Are they going to nail it from the gun? Look for squirrels. We’re cool. Pick a line. Should I yell at him? Nah…let’s see if he does it again. Ok, I’m saying something this time, “Come on Team A….watch your line. I have to go to work after this.”

Accelerate. More. More. Brake. Turn right. Accelerate. Brake. Turn left. Quick right. Where did that wind come from? Move up on the outside guys…come on….

“I could be at home sleeping, or at least at work” *laughter*

Accelerate. More. More. Brake. Turn right. Accelerate. Brake. Turn left. Quick right. Oh look….a ‘break’. Don’t chase that guys. Come on. Damnit! Accelerate, Accelerate, Accelerate, Accelerate, Accelerate. Brake. Turn.

Haven’t drank. I should probably drink.

Screws getting turned. Sonnuva. Hold it…..hold it…..gogogogogogogogogo. UUUUUHhhhhhhhhhhhhh……keep it going. They’ll slow up in a bit. Hang on…..

“GO PSIMET! GET BACK ON THAT WHEEL!”
“GO DADDY GO!”

Not again! SUCK. Should I just quit now? Why keep going? Oh that’s right, because I love torture. Think of it like cross. Just start picking guys off as they come off the back. Man they look like they’re going slow now.

Hey…I can work with them. “Hop on!” Where did they go?

Was that something behind me? When did I pick up 10 guys? Have fun with the sprint guys. Enjoy it. I’ll hold things down back here.

Thank god that’s over.

Wonder how long they’ll give us before they start the next one. Eat a gel. Where’s the other bottle? “How’d you do? AWESOME! Nice job? Me? Meh. You racing the next one? You coming out tomorrow? See you then!”

Are they lining up?

….yup….it’s superweek. I’m tired. I suck. I’m too fat for this sport….and I’m having a blast.

ABD TT#3 Report

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Another round of beating your head into a wall is over. I am happy to say I have made no gains over the last couple of months. That said I have found that have made no losses either. Meh…here’s the pics. That’s all any of you care about anyway…

ABDTT#2 - 03
Showed up early enough to see JAnd do his run.

ABDTT#2 - 01
Cheering section – L to R – JF, Little P, Mrs. P

ABDTT#2 - 02
GO JAND GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ABDTT#2 - 04
Time for us to go. Clipping in for torture….

ABDTT#2 - 12
“Hi…I’m f’n nuts!”

ABDTT#2 - 06
Reset the computer….and…….3…..2……1…..GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I burried my head for the first 5 minutes. I didn’t look at the screen because I knew I would go too hard if I saw I was behind in order to catch up….or if I was ahead in order to maintain position. So I didn’t look.

ABDTT#2 - 07
I was rocking out to a mix of punk and metal. Total “kill everyone” kind of stuff.

I hit my normal wall about 4-5 mintes in, but pushed through. I looked up to see I was behind…by a lot. JF was in front of me. Honestly he’s got the chops even though he’s new so I really didn’t let that bother me too much, but I was at least gpong to try to pull him back.

Up until now I had been running about 270W. I shifted and started bringing around 300W in the second 5 minutes.
ABDTT#2 - 08
“OOooooo”

With a During the last set of 5 minutes I started to crack. I made myself take it easy for 1.5 minutes. Rode easier than I could just in hopes of recovering to finish strong. It kind of worked, but not really. I tried with about 2.5-3 minutes left to stand and go at it. I was within “50 or 60 feet” of JF when I did. When I stood…so did he. That just told me he wasn’t going to just hand anything over.

At first I felt bad because I figured he thought I was standing to sprint to the end, but it was way too early for that. I was just hoping to get a quick jump to turn over the distance between us. Turns out when I stood I didn’t upshift so my power dropped. Ooops. I sat back down to compensate, but by then JF had taken the opportunity to lay down some power.

I tried to stand and sprint at the end, but I didn’t have much. Not the usual punch I have. When done…I felt like puking. So…I did it right. I definitely left some out there though. Just couldn’t tap into the deep well if that makes sense.

ABDTT#2 - 09
Shoot me.

ABDTT#2 - 11
Seriously…shoot me.

ABDTT#2 - 10
JF took the win in style. The guy is a naturl athlete that will accel at this cycling thing with no problem. I keep telling him the only thing that will limit how far he goes is how much time he wants to spend on it. He won’t be a 5 long and will be a 4 even shorter.

This time he won the CM 19-29. He also got to pick up his medal from the previous TT
ABDTT#2 - 13

To top it off I still owe him a beer to make up for the last $5 from registration I owe him. Will it never end?

So…I ended up 13th out of 28 who took the start out of Cat 4. Furthest up in the field so far, but 2 seconds slower than my last one on the “Flat” course. I did beat Rob Jungels…by like 7 seconds…which just means there is a story there. I’m guessing he had something go wrong or he was doing it as a recovery in street shoes and blue jeans.

Tuesday night at the shop we’re doing the mother of all indoor trainer sessions. We’re down to 1×45′ at threshold. Those sessions have made it easier to race already. They have convinced me that I can ride at an intense effort for much longer than I thought I could.

Congrats to JAnd, JF and everyone else who went out there (MRIDan). Nothing like paying $25 so you can sit in one place and turn yourself inside out for 16 minutes.

Almost time to shave the legs. Mrs. P is thrilled.

…

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That was a crappy race. I sucked so bad I had a job offer from Hoover waiting for me at the finish line.

Cold.

Umm….it was a mtn bike course not a cross course. They have this stuff up in Cheeselandia. They call it “hills.” They put some on the course. I have never been lapped on a cross course ….before today.

Mechanicals, loss of care, cross-eyed riding the wrong direction (“whaaa…everyone is going the other way….oh look…..tape….). Total suck of a day.

Form is gone I fear. That and I have never been really good at hills….

MJH2 kept it upright – and still got lapped at the line. Flanman rode 2 hard races and came in frotn of both of us. Nice job!

Hope tomorrow is better. This wasn’t worth the drive. :(

Sometimes I hate building wheels

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Tonight I stripped the rim off of my new powertap and went to lace it up to my new rim (Kinlin Niobium XR-300 – 30mm). Everything went really well and slick. I was cooking along. Overhauled the hub so it now spins like butter. Prepped the spokes and rim. New Spoke prep which allowed me to realize that my old prep was getting….old.

So…it’s late. I ALWAYS make a small stupid mistake when wheel building. It’s like making a simple math error. It just sucks. It also always seems to happen when I attempt to build when it’s late and my eyes are tired and I am already squinting.

…but no….not tonight right?? :(

I was in a hurry to start getting power numbers at the end of this season. I am in rocking form and I want to set some baseline numbers.

So….I laced the wheel. I get to about the last 5 or so spokes on the drive side when it dawns on me that the spokes are going to be just a tad too short. I check, double check, triple check all of the possible causes and see that I am doing everything right. Now I’m pissed. That means I calculated the spokes wrong…AGAIN. I HATE doing that.

But there’s no way. This is a straight forward build. Spokes are within 2mm of each other. The drilling is straight up and I am using the same spokes with the same lacing on both sides. Short spoke on the drive side and long on the non-drive…..

….

…..right?……wait……does this thing have different size flanges? Is the bigger flange on the non-drive side because fo the torque transfer tube on this thing??!!

MOTHER F’R!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swapped spokes.

Check the notes! Check the notes! I always tell myself to check the notes and verify everything multiple times but NOOOOOOooooo. I’m too smart for that…..

Hope your day was better.

Tasty

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Anticipation is not so tasty. Here’s to hoping for another upright race.

Rode 50 fairly easy miles on the trail on Friday. Did a morning 30ish (28 I think) with some of the guys yesterday….net result? I feel it in my legs. Things are tight. Weird stuff. Hopefully it’s tight like winding a rubber band kind of tight.

Here’s to another day of cross. Rider(s) (not) Ready!

It’s time.

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Satan lives in Vegas.

Tomorrow. Cyclocross. Race.

A week in Vegas makes one a poor rider.

I will pay for my transgressions while out on the course tomorrow.

Pain is beautiful. Suffering is life.

Cyclocross is hard.

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Cyclocross is hard. Very hard. It makes crits look like 30 mile Sunday charity rides.

I am a wussy. I suck at this thing. I got dirty. I got cuts. I got bruised. I’m a roadie.

Don’t know if I will do Hawthorne Woods race tomorrow. I might have to sleep on it.

So….

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Kind of hit a funk that came out of nowhere. Weird.

The racing last weekend was such a high and for some reason I have not really gotten excited about cyclocross yet. I will be attempting a cyclocross clinic tomorrow morning. If all goes well I will try my first race the next day….

Again…for those that know nothing about cross….it’s apparantly what happens when cyclists try to just go out for a run.

For those running the Chicago insane-a-thon tomorrow…good luck.